the first thing i noticed was the interior of the building, which can be effectively summed up in one word. . . majestic. newly renovated, its high vaulted ceilings accomodate two very classic looking copper kettles located behind the bar. the hardwood floors and a finely varnished oak decour revealed that somebody in the place had style.

after becoming accustomed to the atmosphere, i began to scope out the personnel. one look at the waiters and i knew i was dealing with capable men. they were intelligent, articulate, sophisticated, and mildly attractive. . .i also couldn't help but notice that their uniforms were having a very difficult time containing the enormous muscles that bulged within, and i concluded that they must spend the majority of their time in the gym. their ringleader, a man that they affectionately called "old man baker," was mercilessly brutal. He drove his staff like a team of underfed oxen. and although I dind't witness it personally, he seemed capable of unspeakable violence. whatever he did though, it seemed to work, because the service was beyond excellent.

when i sat down was when the real action began. the beautiful waitresses, like godesses, descended upon my table to take my order. They bathed me in attnetion and service, and seemed to be perfect human beings, with the gentleness of their manners matched only by the charm of their smiles. I quickly decided that if i was to be reincarnated, i wanted to come back as a tight fitting fitzpatricks uniform, so that i could always be near those heavenly girls. it is also worth noting that i would have found the male waiters to be appealing too, if i were sexually inclined in that direction.

Now on to the most important part of my journey, the beer tasting. After one sip of stout i knew that brewer mark duchow was a master of his craft, an artist of the highest integrity.

i began to taste beer after beer, each one seeming more exquisite and brilliant than the previous. after 3 beers i was oogling those angelic waitresses, after 7 i was oogling both the waitresses AND the waiters, and by the time i had tried the 11th impossibly perfect beer, well, by that time even those classically constructed copper kettles were beginning to arouse me.

as my frenzy continued, i found myself in a state of absolute bliss, i had finally reached that pinnacle of ecstatcy that i had so often dreamed of as a little boy.

Brewery, I can honestly say that you have made my dreams come true. Thank you. You saved my life. god bless. oh, and the food was good too.